The Science of Self Management

Socrates was a great philosopher of his time. Let us learn self-management from one of his life events. Socrates used to spend hours in philosophical discussions with his friends in the evening hours. During one such occasion, his wife, who was by nature quarrelsome, shouted at him in front of all his friends about her usual chores of the imagined problems. Socrates continued discussions with a cool head while his friends were a little taken over by anxiety. When Socrates observed that his fellow mates are getting disturbed due to the rash behavior of his wife, he suggested to them that they all better proceed to some park to continue the discussion.
As soon as they came out of the house, all of a sudden there was a downpour of bulk quantity of water from the top right on the head and body of Socrates. Everyone was stunned to notice that it was Socrates's wife who went to the first floor to pour a bucket of water on his head as a display of her anger. No one could steal the calmness of Socrates. He smiled and exclaimed, “some time ago, it was thundering and now its’ raining. That’s all!” Socrates was not just a cool-headed gentleman, but a great realized philosopher. So this story is a true example of perfect self-management which is an ability of a man to tolerate provoking situations.
So what is self-management?
Self Management means to learn how to manage oneself before managing others. The word, ‘Management’ contains four words: Management = Man + age + men + t. We always want to manage others like men, money, market, material, machines, etc. but always forget the man within and therefore it is said that the man is before the men. If I am not able to manage myself, how can I manage others? We must understand that among financial assets, physical assets, and human assets, the human asset is the most important one. The word 'age' means that we must have enough maturity to understand that when to manage, when not to manage and how much to manage.

Let us consider an incident from the life of the Gandhi ji, that can throw some light on this problem. Once upon a time, Gandhi ji was traveling through a ship. He was wearing a very simple Dhoti and one Englishman was watching him from the top deck. Englishman was thinking that Gandhi ji is a foolish man as he is dressed in simple clothes. Englishman scribbled some bad pictures and written some bad words about Gandhi ji and handed over a set of pinned papers to Gandhi ji and returned to the top of the ship. Now that man started watching Gandhi ji expecting a violent reaction from Gandhi's side. But Gandhi ji dropped those papers in the dustbin. Englishman came to him and asked why you have thrown those papers as those were very useful. Gandhi ji replied that this pin is the only useful thing in those papers hence I kept this with me.
The above stories clearly, point out the importance of being an ideal self-manager. Practical Solutions for becoming an ideal SELF MANAGER are:
A. Work-Life Balance and Regulation of habits
To satisfy four human needs and capacities
There are certain things that are fundamentally required to fulfill human needs. If these basic needs aren’t met, we feel empty and incomplete.
(i) "Need to live" is our PHYSICAL (PQ) need such as DIET, EXERCISE, RELAXATION
(ii) "The need to love" is our SOCIAL (EQ) need e.g., to relate to other people, to belong, to love, to be loved.
(iii) "Need to learn" is our INTELLECTUAL (IQ) need e.g., to DEVELOP AND GROW
(iv) "The need to leave a legacy" is our SPIRITUAL (SQ) need e.g., to have a sense of real identity, purpose to life.
Each of these needs is vitally important. Any of these needs, unmet, reduces the quality of life. If you’re in heavy debt or poor health, if you don’t have adequate food, clothing, and shelter, if you feel alienated and alone, if you’re mentally stagnant, if you don’t have a sense of purpose and virtue, your quality of life suffers. Vibrant health, economic security, rich, satisfying relationships, ongoing personal and professional development, and a deep sense of purpose, contribution create a quality of life. These needs are really deep and highly interrelated.
B. Proper World-view of life and Positive Thinking
Two people looking out from the same window and one sees the star and others see the mud. When two people look like this then it shows the focus of their vision, energy level, and motivation. One who looks at the sky may dream, aspire and utilize his creative energy to achieve his goals but on the other hand, a person that looks at the mud might be thinking why bad things happened with me and this world is worthless. Our vision and disposition are symbiotic. What we see that shapes how we think and how we think shapes what we see.
Further, we can understand the power of positive thinking from my other blog: http://bit.ly/2V5WEMK
C. Proactive Behaviour and not Reactive Behaviour
To understand different behaviors we must understand the circle of concern and influence
Proactive or effective people focus their efforts in the circle of influence. They work on things that they can do something about. The nature of their aura is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their circle of influence to expand.

Reactive people, on the other side, focus efforts in the circle of concern. They focus on the weakness or faults of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization if I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself. I shall stop trying to shape up my wife/subordinate/friend and work on my own weaknesses. I can focus on being a great partner, a source of unconditional love and support. Hopefully, that person will feel the power of proactive example and respond in kind. But whether that person does or doesn’t the most positive way I can influence my situation is to work on myself, on my BEING. The negative energy generated by that perception, combined with ignorance of areas they could do something about, causes their circle of influence to shrink.
All these can offer us "will power" with which we can move mountains.
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#Inspiration from Radheshyam Pr and Stephen Covey